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Until I got engaged, I had no idea how much pressure there was around the couples wedding registry. First of all, you have to actually think about where you’re going to register (yes, this is very important). Believe me, there are entire blog posts devoted to telling the bride and groom where not to register. But more importantly, you should really think about what to register for. I know, right? You would think it would be as easy as it sounds. They even give you a laser gun and ply you with champagne (I swear this shouldn’t be that hard, right)?! I think part of my challenge was that Adam and I are not a ‘young’ couple. I mean, we are but not by my parents timeline and most of my friends back home for that matter. Psst… I’m from the south where everyone gets married right out of college. So with both of us just past 35, we already have a home built we things we love. On top of all that, I make a living helping folks declutter their homes so it’s not like I want to go out and register for a bunch of stuff we already own. Although, I will tell you, Adam wanted to register for EVERYTHING. He apparently has no trouble with the laser gun and scanned just about everything from Sur la Table.

Which has left me with two options in my book:

  1. Register for our honeymoon (which I’m so conflicted about that it has kept me up at night). When I told my parents that we were thinking about doing this, they were less than thrilled. I mean, I get it. They are old school, conservative and are concerned about what their friends might think. I also got into a Morgan Freeman wormhole reading comment threads on a wedding website that had less than stellar things to say about brides registering for their honeymoon.
  2. OR, we could upgrade our current possessions and donate the old stuff. Adam and I actually did register at a couple places but I still haven’t posted them or let anyone know about them. We basically just registered for stuff we already own (just better versions of it). Believe me, if presents start coming and we don’t get rid of stuff, in the words of Tom Hanks, “Houston we [will] have a problem.”

Seeing as our wedding is less than 3 months away, it’s time to make a decision on what we’re going to do. And as much as I want to just do one or the other, sometimes it’s just more complicated than this or that. For us, registering for a honeymoon and having a registry seems to make the most sense. The honeymoon will have a little more weight than our registry but this way, we’re giving folks an option. As much as I don’t want to care what people think, I secretly sort of do. And while I still may be judged for registering for a honeymoon, our guests can simply purchase something off the registry if the trip makes them uncomfortable.

Ladies (and gents) how did you handle your wedding registry? Was it a walk in the park deciding where and what to register for or were you just as conflicted as I have been? Make me feel better and start talking!

BNeatoBar2c_BcmykAbout this blog: Space. Finding more of it isn’t always easy. That’s why each Wednesday at Bneato Bar, we try our darndest to give you more space all while helping you K.I.T. (aka keep it together).

image via Green Bride Guide

2 comments

  1. jen July 27, 2014 at 3:56 pm

    We had friends almost degrade us bc we weren’t going to register at all. Both in our 30s, been together for over six year and really had the stuff we wanted. We finally broke down and used a site called myregistry where you can add anything from any website and not be tied to stores with their own registry options. We put some fun stuff on there but also some classic kitchen and serveware. I refused to register for table and silverware settings bc they are just so expensive, even though we needed them. We did get most stuff from.the registry but also a lot of cash, which we were grateful as we wanted a honeymoon too. Oh and that degrading friend got us her own gift not even on the registry.

  2. Beth July 27, 2014 at 5:59 pm

    Thanks for sharing Jen. Yea, for us, it really just boils down to already having everything we need. I guess I was just surprised to experience that there was judgement going on during what should be a really happy time otherwise. I haven’t experienced any myself, (yet) except for the parents being cautiously supportive.

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